I recently went out with some good friends for a little happy hour R and R. We try to do this every couple of months because we’ve known each other for several years but don’t get to see each other often. As we were catching up on family, holidays, etc, one of my buddies looked across the table from me and with a big grin said, “You’re number two!”

“Wow, uh, OK.” I said.
“Just remember, you’re number two!” he smiled.

Several times during the evening he would look at me and say, “Remember, you’re number two.” I would smile back and assure him I wouldn’t forget this important bit of information although I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, nor did anyone else apparently. But then, if you knew this very good friend of mine, you would know that it generally isn’t important to know what he’s talking about. With this man, all will be made known eventually and it’s all good, all the time.

The next day I got a text message from him, and I quote, “You’re #2″. I sent him a text back saying that I remembered, but what was he talking about? His text came back almost immediately:

“My second New Year’s resolution.”

I just sat looking at my cell phone for a minute with a smile on my face. Then I sent him a text back telling him that it was one of the coolest things anyone had ever said to me. Now keep in mind, I still have NO idea what this means to him or how this will manifest itself in the future. I only know how it made me feel to read it. It also made me stop for a minute and think about the resolutions we make at the end of every year.

Even if we don’t formally call them resolutions, most of us have an idea of what we want to accomplish in the coming year. Some make a resolution list, some design a new dream board or a prosperity collage. We all have our ways of setting goals for the coming year and keeping them where we can see them. But one thing they have in common, they are usually about us. We want to create more customers or take our business to a new level, take a family vacation, lose weight and take better care of ourselves. All noble goals and all things that we should focus energy on.

But what if this year we added another one very near the top? What if in spot # 2, we put a person’s name and made that someone, as opposed to something, our number two resolution for the new year? Someone that we want to reconnect with but it just doesn’t ever seem to happen because of how busy we get. What if we just pick one person- a child we need to spend more time with, and old friend we need to stay in contact with, a relative we need to reconnect with, and make them a top priority this year?

• Put their name in the number two spot on your list.
• Put their picture on your prosperity board.
• Put their picture on your refrigerator and on your bathroom mirror.

Put them on your calendar, in your computer and smart phone and schedule specific times to call, send an email, send a post card and schedule something like a dinner or happy hour once in awhile. Schedule the time to rekindle and strengthen that relationship.

I think by focusing on that one person you will automatically start being an even better friend to lots of other people you know. But pick one particular person you want to bring closer into your life. And make sure they know that they’re number two!

Whatever you celebrate this holiday season, make it joyful

Many thanks to my little sister for sending me this video. This is the 2008 short story winner of the Cannes Film Festival. Not only a lesson in compassion, but what a huge lesson in prosperity. A successful man helps a less fortunate man “see” things in a new way. Instead of giving him a fish, he teaches him to fish. Rather than simply give a handout, he pays his prosperity forward with a life changing lesson. What small changes can we make in how we think and act that will pay off in huge life dividends?

If you’re not on Facebook, you are missing out on an amazing opportunity. In my short time there I have reconnected with old friends I had lost touch with, and I’ve also made new friendships with some of the most talented, caring, amazing people you could hope to meet. The beautiful Linda Hawkins from Cape Town, South Africa is one such person. Linda recently posted the following on Facebook and she has very graciously allowed me to repost it here for you. It’s a great lesson to show us that, all you need to do is be genuinely curious about people, take the time to make a new friend and you will be full of gratitude for the things you have been blessed with. And if you really pay attention to your friends, they will teach you that you have the power to create the change you want in your life.

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Thank you Stranger…Friend
by Linda Hawkins

I haven’t been to gym in a couple of weeks and today I thought - ‘That’s it Linda, get your bum into gear and get going….!! No excuses and no home workouts with cats and dogs climbing all over you.. it’s back to doing what you really love doing. Keeping your body fit and healthy.’

On the way to gym I comfortingly told myself that I would take the cardio session a little easier than where I had left off and ease myself back into things….

The gym was relatively quiet. I scanned the place and noticed a slightly chubby lady working on a rowing machine. I made my way over to the treadmill closest to her - so that I could strike up a conversation with her. This is out of character for me because I normally focus on my workout and keep to myself.

We soon got chatting and decided that we would work out together. She didn’t seem too intimidating, so I agreed…..he he he….. 40 minutes on the treadmill and 40 minutes on the rowing machine later.. we were still going strong…chatting up a storm. By the end of the workout I bravely walked out of the gym feeling as though I had lost at least 10kgs in one session and that everything would be toned for the rest of my life - that everything had lifted and firmed up and was frozen into position!!

Our conversation cut straight to the chase. It turned out that Estelle is actually a Captain in the SA Police Force. That she had just won the gym’s Olympic Week - first place overall. That she is a Karate champion and that the reason she is a little chubby is because she has just recently beaten cancer.

She was diagnosed with cancer of the lymph nodes 3 years ago and was told that the cancer had spread to such a degree that she had only 3-6 months to live. She instructed the doctors to do all that they could do - and part of their ‘treatment’ was prescribing cortisone - which blew her up to a whopping 110kg - she is only 1.6m tall.

As the doctors did their thing, Estelle started praying and meditating. Applying all that she had learnt while learning martial arts. She instructed her mind to kill each cancer cell in her body and her body became a fighting machine. Fighting for her life and claiming back her health. During this time, her husband admitted to her that he was having an affair and moved out of the family home. She was determined to heal her body and allowed her husband to leave. Forgiving him and letting him go. The night her husband told her that he would be moving out, she listened, understood and let him go. Then she phoned a friend and said ‘Tonight I have to laugh and have lots of fun.’ They took their motorbikes out and went ripping through the mountains.. Wild and free…

A year later she had beaten cancer, lost 37 kgs, and her husband was back in her life. She used the power of her mind to focus on what she wanted. Lived in the present moment at all times. Forgave her husband completely for his trangression - and through all of it she had fun! She laughed, she lived.

Every day I meet angels. Every day someone touches my life with their love, their experiences, their words, their honesty, their authenticity.

Thank you God for smiling on me today and for orchestrating this meeting with this incredible woman. I am truly blessed to know her. To be able to share her story with my friends online.

And yes, I’m going back to gym tomorrow evening - to work out with Estelle!! What a woman!! What a blessing!! What a sore bum I have!!

And thank you Linda, what a blessing you are.

I don’t watch a lot of sports. To tell you the truth I’d like to watch more, it would give me more in common with a lot of folks that I know. But the fact is, unless it is a pivotal San Diego game (Padres or Chargers) or the X games I’m bored out of my skull before long and have gone to clean the garage or hit the beach.

Except for every couple of years when the Olympics roll around and I am completely hooked. I don’t know why or what it is about the Olympics, but I am. So like a few million others I watched the opening ceremonies the other night and it actually lived up to the hype. It was off the hook good as far as I was concerned.

But here was what I really took away from those 4 hours:

As I watched the opening sequence, 2008 drummers created a roar that made the fireworks pale in comparison. I was taken with the power of the mass of humanity. It was an incredible site and from the wide shots, it looked like a choreographed ant farm creating the thunder of heaven. But then they started showing some close ups of the drummers. They smiled, they laughed, they yelled, they sang, they had passion and yes, they were all damn fine drummers. I’ve drummed a bit in my life and these were all masters at what they did.

Then there were the Tai Chi masters, 2008 of them, in perfect harmony. Again, I’ve done enough Tai Qi to know that these folks weren’t the beginning class from the Beijing YMCA, these were seasoned practitioners that had done this for years and years. And then, on those incredible close up shots, you saw the passion, the joy, the personality, the individual mastery.

This was repeated over and over in each chapter as the opening ceremonies unfolded. An incredible mass, moving in perfect sync with each other. But beyond that, I saw that each of the 15,000 who performed were total professionals. They each one had attained a degree of success (can we say greatness?) in their chosen field.

And then they came together. Without sacrificing anything that they had achieved individually, they united and created something the world had never seen before. They raised the bar.

I don’t know about you, but I see more than a few parallels between those opening ceremonies and what’s happening on the internet via things like blogs and social media sites like Facebook. How can we use these amazing tools and combine our individuality, personality and areas of expertise (yes, GREATNESS) with those of like mind for the benefit of this planet and people everywhere?

I’m still not that good at Tai QI or drums, but I feel very grateful to be in this company and very excited about the future.

Ever hear that one or a variation on it? “I can’t do what you do because….”
Except that most of the time, the person saying it has absolutely no idea what you do, let alone how you do it.

There was a group of us talking the other day and the subject of Facebook and other social media sites came up. I made the comment that about 95% of the people on those sites use them like Xerox machines were used at companies before the internet. For those of you not quite old enough to remember, people used to Xerox jokes, cartoons, etc. and pass them around the office and give them to friends. Some people actually compiled notebooks full of these xeroxed pages like a scrapbook. That is essentially how many people use the internet, simply as a new way to pass around jokes, hugs, etc, to everyone they know. I love a good joke as much as the next guy but you all get those, “Send this to everyone you know” emails, right? And generally you get a lot of them from the same group of people.

My point was that the emerging social media of the internet was unfortunately, just being used exactly the same way by many people, when we have the opportunity to use it to be of service. The idea of social media is to create relationships, to get more social. And just like we’ve talked about in previous posts, by creating a relationship and finding out what people need or want in their lives, we can see how we can be of service to them. I said that social media gives us the opportunity to be better at what we do. It can allow us to be better at serving because we have the ability to create relationships with people that we would probably never cross paths with otherwise.

It was then that someone said, “I don’t have time to sit in front of a computer all day!” I said, “What makes you think I sit in front of a computer all day?” They answered, “Because I saw your page and you have about 600 Facebook friends. I don’t have time for that.”

I replied, “I don’t either. So I mange all those friends in about 10 minutes a day. In fact, if you count social media like Facebook and MySpace pages and other straight-up marketing sites I own, I actually have twelve websites, and another three websites where I can be contacted. And I can manage ALL those in 30-40 minutes a day.”

I find that when someone starts the conversation with, “I can’t”, “I don’t” or “I couldn’t” they many times don’t really know a whole lot about whatever it is they are objecting to. Not that everyone needs to be on the internet or have a Facebook page, but I think the knee-jerk reaction of “I can’t do that” can be very, very expensive. What’s the old adage? Your mind is like a parachute, it’s only useful to you when it’s open.

And again, it isn’t just the internet, it’s lot’s of things. I see it in network marketing:
• I can’t sell like you can.
• I can’t get up in front of people like you can.
• I heard no one really makes any money at that..
In healthcare:
• I don’t need to change my diet, my doctor said I can control it with medicine.
• I can’t change, besides it’s just a part of getting old.
• I don’t have money to get massage, besides it probably won’t help.
Personal growth:
• I don’t have time to read that, besides there’s nothing a book can teach me that I can’t learn for free from life.
• Self help? I don’t need self-help I’m not crazy!
• 

That’s why I believe we need to become patient, sometimes very patient (yes I know it can be hard), educators. We need to gently help people who are paying too much attention to what their sick, broke, ignorant friends are telling them. If folks would just realize what they are truly capable of, well just think of the world we would be living in.

But enough. It’s not like I can sit in front of a computer all day!

This morning my daughter and I went out to get breakfast together. Two breakfast sandwiches, a coffee and an orange juice. Grand total: $55.72 You would think for that amount of money we went to a pretty snazzy place wouldn’t you?

Not really. We went to a local Einstein Brothers bagel shop. But believe me, I enjoyed every bite of my Southwestern Turkey Sausage Panini and every sip of steaming French Roast just as if I was dining at a 5 star resort on Tahiti.

Here’s what happened: We left the house and on the way to breakfast I stopped by the bank to get some cash from the ATM. Now do you see where this is going? Uh huh, when I got to Einstein Brothers and started to pay for breakfast I realized I had driven away from the bank, leaving my $40 in the ATM machine.

I immediately started some self-talk that went something like, “Oh no! You’re a dork! You just threw $40 away! I can’t believe you just drove off and left your money there!” But as soon as I started that, I changed it (and I was pretty proud of myself I don’t mind telling you). I actually smiled and thought, “Well, hopefully the person behind me at the bank has a completely different day because of me so we’re going to chalk this up as an unconscious good deed”.

I don’t put a lot of stock in accidents and mistakes. I believe we attract the things that happen to us and so, I don’t believe it was an accident that I left that money there.

-Maybe the person behind me was really broke and that money bought some groceries.
-Maybe the person behind me didn’t need the money and decided to take their good fortune and pay it forward to someone who did need it.
-Maybe it was to teach me to really enjoy a meal and some precious time with someone that I love dearly.

To tell you the truth, I don’t really care. I know it did reinforce that lesson to cherish those small moments with those I love, even if it’s just over a breakfast sandwich. I hope that some other good came from it as well, but if not, it was only $40 and that can be replaced without a lot of effort.

Bottom line:
Money left in ATM: $40
Cost of breakfast: $15.72
Lessons learned and the feeling from doing an unconscious good deed: Priceless

In my previous posts “Mind your business”, I explained that there was a difference between someone who “fails” in business and someone who
fails to make a profit at it.

In this video, network marketing trainer Tim Sales talks about this topic. And while this is focused on network marketing, the principles apply not only to any business, but to anything we set out to accomplish.

Also by Tim Sales:
Do the people at the top make all the money?

I am frequently asked this question but it has never been put better than this recent inquiry: after committing a life’s work to alternative healing arts, how does one retire comfortably in this field?

Most people in the alternative arts (and yes I still call it that) including massage/bodywork, acupuncture, energy healing, etc, are sort of like a band of gypsies. They are either small business owners with a private clientele or they work several part time jobs at clinics, spas, with other practitioners, etc. Or both. Not many have a 30-40 hour a week “job” where they stay for several decades and then retire. They do what they do for the love of the work and they do it on their own terms for the most part. But if you have any desire to do this for any amount of time, the question is going to arise, “What do I do when I can’t do this anymore?” or “How long do I want to do this at this level?” The reason I love the way this question was asked of me recently, is because it specifies retire “comfortably in this field”. That was exactly my question several years ago.

Quite honestly, I think it’s a question that many small business owners have, whether they are involved in the healing arts or not. Here is part of my response to this latest question:

How to retire after spending your life in the alternative arts is a question I think most of us with any longevity come to eventually. I patted myself on the back when I hit the 10 year mark in bodywork because so few last that long, but then I realized that I had absolutely nothing else going on. I was 45 and loved what I was doing but the thought of doing it at that same level, doing that many sessions, teaching that many classes, when I was in my 50’s or 60’s wasn’t a very appealing picture for me. I always said that I wanted to be able to do a session in my 70’s because I was still passionate about it but I knew if I didn’t find something else to create income, I would burn out long before then.

So I began my search to find something else, but I had very specific criteria for whatever it was going to be:

1. It had to be in the wellness industry. Ideally it would fit into my existing practice and/or teaching but it had to be something where I could continue to be a positive influence on people’s lives.

2. It needed to be residual income. I didn’t want it dependent on my being there physically to make it work. The idea of retiring is that you can quit full time employment, still get paid, and work when and IF you want to.

So I began exploring. I read, researched, talked with other bodyworkers and entrepreneurs, meditated, anything I could think of.
I considered a healing supplies catalogue business for clients, students and other bodyworkers.
I started writing a book.
I was teaching workshops so I considered training other teachers. Much like many teachers do today, I could have multiple workshops going on in various parts of the country and take a portion of each.
I looked at everything that came across my path that would fit my criteria.

As we all know, when the student is ready the teacher appears. What most don’t know is that the teacher is hardly ever who, or what, you think they are going to be and a lot of folks miss them because they expect someone or something else. Mine came so far out of left field and was so NOT what I was expecting that I very nearly walked away from it. Thankfully I didn’t and was able to create what I had intended, and more, and do it on my original terms.

My advice would be to be very, very clear in your intentions about what you want. Not the specific vehicle itself, but what are YOUR criteria for comfortable retirement? It doesn’t need to be complicated, in fact I think simple is better. Mine was it had to be wellness and residual. Simple. Leave the vehicle up to the Universe, and be open to the fact that it very well may not look at all like you think it will/should. It may very likely be something you didn’t see coming at all.

But for sure, one of your criteria should be that it creates residual income. When we think retirement, we think of passive income coming weekly or monthly so we can sit on a beach and relax. When you’re in the alternative healing arts, unless you came to it from the corporate world with your retirement already in place or you’re Deepak Chopra and can write a NY Times bestseller, you have to create that walk-away retirement income some other way. But there are ways to do that. And you don’t have to work for 40 years to do it. You can create a comfortable retirement income, according to your criteria, in 2-5 years.

Hope this helps. Start thinking!

The tap water of 66 percent of the population of the United States and Australia, 40 percent of the population in Canada, and 10 percent of the population of the United Kingdom is treated with compounds of fluoride with the intended purpose of reducing tooth decay. Only 2 percent of the population in Mexico receives fluoridated water, but table salt in Mexico is treated with compounds of fluoride with the intended purpose of reducing tooth decay. However, intake of excessive amounts of fluoride can have negative effects on bone and teeth. According to recent studies of populations in China, exposure to high levels of fluoride may also alter brain development. Young children are the most vulnerable to the neurodevelopmental effects of excessive fluoride.

The results from a 2007 study in China’s Shanxi province show that excess fluoride exposure can result in lower scores in intelligence tests. A total of 524 children were examined for intellectual functioning and growth. One group of children were exposed to naturally occurring high concentrations of fluoride in well water while a control group of children were from nearby villages with low concentrations of fluoride in well water. In the group drinking high fluoride well water there were lower overall IQ scores, a greater number of lower scores, and fewer high scores. The test result differences were enough to negatively affect a child’s ability to perform in school. This report corroborates the results of a 2003 study performed in Jiangsu province warning that drinking water with fluoride levels greater than 1.0 mg/L may adversely affect the development of childen’s intelligence.

The levels of fluoride in well water in this study are likely well above concentrations in U.S. drinking water supplies. However, at this time the total intake of fluoride by the average child—from drinking water, soft drinks, bottled water, toothpaste, mouth rinses—is unknown. Additional studies are needed to measure overall fluoride exposure in children to prevent potential neurodevelopmental deficits, as well as fluorosis, an abnormal condition caused by excessive intake of fluorides, characterized in children by discoloration and pitting of the teeth and in adults by pathological bone changes.

Wang, SX, et al. Arsenic and Fluoride in Drinking Water: Children’s IQ and Growth in Shanyin County, Shanxi Province, China. Environmental Health Perspectives. 115(4):643-7.2007.

Xiang, Q, et al. Effect of Fluoride in Drinking Water on Children’s Intelligence. Fluoride 36(2):84-94. 2003.

The Sky Is Falling, better known as Chicken Licken, Henny Penny or Chicken Little is an old fable about a chicken (or a hare in early versions) who believes the sky is falling. The phrase, “The sky is falling,” has passed into the English language as a common idiom indicating a hysterical or mistaken belief that disaster is imminent.
–Wikipedia

Yesterday was Saturday, garage sale day in Southern California. There were three sales on my block but no one was selling anything. It was one of those days where everyone apparently went to the beach instead of cruising the neighborhoods looking for hidden treasure. When someone asked, “I wonder where everyone is today?”, the answer came back, “No one has any money, everyone is staying home because of the economy.”

I’m so tired of listening to the media report (and then listening to people parrot what they hear in the media) about the current recession. First of all there doesn’t seem to be a consensus on whether we are or aren’t in a recession. Some outlets say we are, others say we’re headed there and still others say we’re at the brink of a full scale depression. My personal opinion is that we, you and I, are making this worse than it is. Look, I don’t have my head in the sand, I understand that the economy is in a down trend. I live in San Diego county where we pay $4.60 for regular unleaded so you don’t have to tell me that some things, like food and gas, are getting more expensive while other things, like real estate are getting less expensive. But I believe we are making this a lot worse than it is. I believe that, for the most part, you and I are doing this to ourselves.

Now I know that some of you are already rolling your eyes because you KNOW that the war, the floods in the mid-west, the government, the oil companies, and big business are all at fault (and probably conspiring together against us). OK, I’ll grant you those things are playing into the current economic trend but I still believe that the majority of this is us doing it to ourselves.

I’m no economist and truth be told, I really don’t care about, nor do I pay too much attention to, global economics and national finances. But here’s why I say this is primarily our own fault and why we should pay little attention to what the media is telling us: because most of the stuff that people are freaked out about on the news doesn’t affect them personally in the least. OK, gas and groceries affect all of us but let’s set those aside for just a minute. What does this “recession” affect first? What, besides gas and groceries, is the media’s message of doom and gloom focusing on?

Interest Rates
Does that really affect most of us on a large scale? Does it affect your ability to deposit money in your checking or savings, write checks, pay your bills, buy that ever-more-expensive gallon of gas? Maybe it does you but I don’t see where that process has changed much for me on a day to day basis. Credit card interest is higher but we ran those balances up ourselves kids. And there are simple, simple systems for paying those balances down, so I don’t see that the banking industry and interest rates really affects most of us and our ability to conduct our day to day business.

Real Estate
No doubt about it, real estate values have gone down in a lot of areas. But given the inflated prices of a couple of years ago, didn’t we know that would happen? Isn’t it the nature of real estate to go up and down? But all that aside, who does the current loss in real estate value affect? Everybody? Not hardly. There are really only two groups of people I see really affected- those folks who got into an adjustable rate mortgage and never refinanced into a fixed rate and those people who bought on speculation and want to sell their house right now. In other words, my house has dropped in value from what it was a couple of years ago, but my house payment didn’t go up. I’m paying the same amount I was paying before “the recession”. I don’t see that I’ve lost money. You only lose money if you sell for less than you paid and I’m not planning on selling. While it’s a problem for some, it does not affect a majority of home owners in this country.

The Stock Market
As of November 2005, according to the Securities Industry Association and the Investment Company Institute in their joint survey, “Equity Ownership in America, 2005,” half of all U.S. households own stocks, either directly or in a mutual fund or retirement plan. But of that, how many are buying and selling those funds and retirement plans on a regular basis? In other words, don’t most Americans who own some stock, have them as a long term investment? The average working American is not day trading their retirement plan, they are investing regularly in a 401k or mutual fund for the long term. So like real estate, the only time you lose money is if you sell when the market is down or if the company you invested in goes under. And like real estate, I think most people understand that stocks will fluctuate wildly, that’s why most Americans, in thinking about the long term and retirement, invest in conservative funds. And according to the above joint report, even that only affects half of the population, the other half don’t own any stocks or funds at all. So again, maybe I’m seriously naive, but do the wild fluctuations in the market directly affect most Americans in how they operate on a daily basis? When most folks are drinking their first cup of coffee and watching one of the morning “news” shows, do they see the Dow Jones industrials and go, “Crap, there goes the day!”. I don’t think so. More people are interested in the fact that on Friday, the lines were around the block to buy the new 3G iPhone than the fact that Apple’s stock went down over $4 a share on Friday.

However, here’s where it does affect everyone and why I say we are doing it to ourselves. We are constantly bombarded by the media with this message that the sky is falling and whether it directly affects us or not, we subconsciously buy into it. You have to understand, the media’s job is not so much to report the news, it’s to keep us watching and listening. The more horrible the news, the more we watch. We are fed a steady diet of bad news and that constant negative input affects our thinking and that DOES affect how we operate on a daily basis. I believe the more we THINK we are headed for a great depression, the more we will ACT like it’s already upon us and the faster we will actually manifest it.

The fact is, you can lump the American public into three broad categories:
1.) There are people that have financial problems no matter what the economy is doing. They have money problems all the time, no matter whether the economy is up or down and they have had the same issues their whole life. The economy doesn’t need to change so much as they need to change.
2.) There are people that do get hit by layoffs, downsizing and corporate “restructuring” (that means pay cuts) but don’t let it ruin their lives. I have a good friend that works in the airline industry. He wasn’t downsized but he has taken a couple of major financial shock-loads in the past couple of years. What did he do? He looked to his skills and started a new business to supplement his decreased airline income. The good news is, he now has two streams of income. While it’s a little tougher right now, he hasn’t lost his house or traded his full size pickup in on a sub-compact yet. And when the economy turns around (and it always does) he will be in even better shape than he was before.
3.) There are those people that make money and prosper no matter what the economy is doing. In an up economy, they make money. In a down economy, they still make money. They seem to always miss those news reports that tell the rest of us how bad things are.

The reality is that gas and milk are more expensive, and they will probably get even more expensive before this is over. But is that all it takes to ruin your life and send the country into depression? I don’t think so. I think the majority of the problem is us and what’s between our ears. We are listening to the wrong people and buying into the crap they are feeding us for their own personal gain.

I think we need to kill Chicken Little. I think we need to cut it’s little head off, invite those folks in categories 2 and 3 over for fried chicken dinner and start listening to what they can teach us rather than what the evening news says is inevitable.

So yeah, I think yesterday everyone decided to go to the beach, I don’t think the “recession” had a thing to do with garage sale revenues. But I do believe that a recession mindset will sink you.